You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she smelled like a LAN party
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
