He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
