BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
