STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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