he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
