So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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