The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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