there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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