I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My vagina is officially offended.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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