his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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