If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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