Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
That accounts for only three of the penises
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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