Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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