haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
