If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
