One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
