I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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