So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
