i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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