My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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