please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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