My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
