real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
