he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
