he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
