Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
