you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
