remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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