I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
