Fuck appropriateness.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
