They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
