she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
