I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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