I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
please come you make the beer taste better
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
