It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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