Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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