I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
