I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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