Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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