help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
