No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I currently don't understand fingers.
i out mim tonsoeep
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