I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Fuck appropriateness.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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