I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
