Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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