All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Randomize
