I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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