i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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