Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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