??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
