need another drink. this is the easiest way
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
